Wednesday, October 04, 2006

I've had reason to ponder recently - why is it that females have a comfortable zone in clicks? Where does the aggression come from to defend the territorial bound of said click? I don't know - maybe I'm not really female - huh? Or, maybe I'm just not all that good in groups. I don't really think that is it either. I can have multiple friends that fill the same need and still be willing to make another new friend in the same 'click'. I have several best friends but they are all different - they know each other - but we interact differently. On some human level we recognize a mirror image of ourselves and we seek to find the person who fits that bill.

Like Valerie. My bestest friend. We can, and do, go months without speaking and then just randomly pickup with whatever is going on in our lives. I have done all of the following to her: Called her in the middle of the night because of an extremely sick child - she came and comforted me. Had surgery and a hospital stay - she came and spent the night we me in the hospital just to be there incase I needed anything. We go to lunch through the week, walk after work and shop on Friday's - her day off. She has called me late in the evening when work had her so down she just had to lock the bathroom door and cry - what can you say? You just listen and offer comfort.

My next bestest friend is Debbie. She's the trouble maker - always ready to shop or go to lunch. Valerie and Debbie and I are all friends with girls the same age so we've bonded and watched our girls bond. It's been a lot of fun. Debbie is the one always ready to play putt-putt or football or soccor or basketball or any outdoor activity with the kids. Valerie and I hate her - she's just way to perky. She's also the one who's husband was killed in a freak accident several years ago. Valerie called me and we came home from vacation that afternoon. There was nothing we could do but we were there for her and the girls to offer comfort. We all grieved together - mothers and daughters. As painful as it was for us, I know it was the hardest for Debbie and her girls but I think it helped them move on knowing how much we loved their Dad and to see the deepth of sadness that we felt with them. Remember this if you are ever in this type situation - don't shy away from the family because you don't know what to say or do. Sometimes for them to just know that your there, crying and sad with them is a blessing and a comfort.

Now - my nextest bestest friend is Karen. She's the one I call when I want to spend the afternoon at the garden center or lunch and an afternoon strolling around Williams-Sonoma or any cooking, tea, wine, landscaping, gardening store. I haven't seen her in a while - I think I'll take her to lunch tomorrow or Friday.

Then I have my new stitchey friends. We aren't as close but I know given the same time frames as I've had with V, D & K that we could be. There's Brandy and Nikki and Joyce and Stacey and Selma and Marleen.....and many more that I am just getting to know.

I guess the pondering of female relationships brings me to this; I'm the kind of girl who always has room for one more - the group is never filled to capacity and almost no one is ever excluded because I don't want to take the time to know them.

I'm feeling very blessed and satisfied right now - and it's because of all the above people and the joy knowing them has brought me. I will try over the next few days to connect with each of them - on our special level - and spread some of my joy to them.....good night all...

2 comments:

stitchinfiend said...

Hi Wanda I have just found your blog and really enjoyed reading about you. Your stitching is awesome. I like your thoughts on best friends and groups. We females are a funny lot at times. I lost my closest stitching friend 4 yrs ago to breast cancer and it can be lonely without girlfriends. I really look forward to getting to know you through your blog. Annette (anystitcher)

J said...

Wanda..... whoah!!! This is eerie!! I just blogged regarding the issue of friends last night. Hmm wonder if this means that we're sharing a brain too. LOL!! No wonder A and I are so confuddled lately.